hearing God

I've been having a hard time deciding between the Counseling Licensure program (which I'm currently enrolled in) and the Counseling Ministries program. It's been somewhat a battle of my heart vs. my head. I am more drawn to the spiritual health side of counseling, but the logic says to get trained in mental health to be more marketable in case I can't find a job in a ministry.

While I was at school last Thursday I decided to take a walk along the Platte River behind the campus to do some praying about this huge decision. As I marveled at the clear blue sky and the beauty of the nature around me, a distinct thought entered my head. "God does miracles." This thought repeated itself over and over again as I reflected on my struggles. God Does Miracles. That was all there was. As simple as it sounded, I recognized how profound it also was.

As I kept walking further from campus I saw a sign in the distance. I decided to walk that far and then turn around and head back towards campus. When I got to the sign I found myself looking at it from the side, to where I was only able to see the posts holding it up. As I walked back the other way and the sign became more visible again, it struck me how much I view reality in front of me with such a limited perspective. When I keep walking, eventually the whole truth of what's in front of me becomes visible. It was at that moment that a second phrase entered my thoughts: "I have great plans for you."

As this statement repeated itself in the forefront of my mind, "God does miracles" slowly faded to the back, though still lingering. I Have Great Plans For You. They might not make sense to you right now, but your perspective is limited. And even when you think you can see more clearly, remember that I do miracles. God was definitely speaking to my heart, and he had my attention at this point.

As I neared campus there was a bicyclist heading towards me on the path I'd have to cross to get back to the school. I played a little game and decided to not slow my pace to see if he'd pass me by the time I needed to cross the path. Sure enough he passed just before I had to cross, and I never slowed down. At that moment the third statement entered my thoughts while the second phrase joined the first in the back of my mind. "My timing is perfect." As that phrase dominated my thoughts for the rest of my walk, I suddenly realized how little trust I've had in God's goodness. My Timing Is Perfect. God holds my tiny future in his enormous hands. And he takes great care of it.

God, you've brought us this far and you've not only provided the necessities but you've blessed abundantly. When will I allow the anxiety to melt? You are a good God. I will follow your lead and embrace this process of learning to depend fully on you. Please help me in my unbelief.